How Are You Doing?

Most people probably experience this on a daily basis, usually at work. You pass by a coworker in the hall, run into an acquaintance at the grocery store, or greet the clerk in the checkout line. One of the first questions that are asked is "How are you doing?" Typically the proper response is to say "Okay.", "Fine.", or "Good." and then follow it up with the obligitory "And you?"

 

Ultimately, these pleasantries are generally meaningless. Most of the time, we don't really care how the other person is doing. We just want to get back to whatever task in which we were engaged or to turn the conversation onto our favorite subject, ourselves, and back to our own self-centered world. Just as we are self-centered in our question we are self-centered in our response.

 

for one thing, we aren't really letting anyone into a deeper level of ourselves when we respond with the customary and socially-acceptable falsehoods. After all, quite often we aren't fine. What we are really thinking is "Actually, I am not doing that well. I didn't sleep well last night because I spent the entire night tossing and turning, worrying about how I am going to pay for (insert ridiculously larger expense here), my back is killing me from sitting in this desk chair for 40 hours a week, everyone in the world is unappreciative of me, and at the moment my underwear is riding up and giving me a wedgie."

 

Heaven forbid if we actually told someone how we feel. We might actually be forced to let someone into our lives. Of course, if someone actually answered that way, we would actually be forced to stop thinking about ourselves for a moment and tend to someone who is having some difficultly.

 

So, how are you doing. Fine. And you?

Election Day

Well, I did my civic duty and voted this morning. I even have the sticker they gave me to prove it.

 

I was hoping that voting would have been quick and easy and that I would be out the door and on my way to work in just a few minutes. It took a little longer than the five minutes for which I was hoping, but I suppose that 20 minutes was too bad. As part of its election coverage this morning, the Chicago Sun-Times ran an aerial picture of a snaking line of South Africans who were waiting to vote in the first free post-apartheid elections in that country. Waiting out in the sun in a line that would make even the most ardent roller coster entusiast pass up that ride just to be able vote should diminsh anyone's complaints about the voting process.

 

This year, I was more observant of what was going on around me when I voted. First of all, when I went in to the polling place I noticed a man and woman dressed in business attire just standing there watching people go inside. I have to admit that they gave off bad vibes. Now, it could have been because the polling place was at an evangelical church, but I half expected these two individuals to accost me and ask me if I had found Jesus. I don't know what their purpose was, they could have been waiting for someone, have been observing in some official capacity, or whatever, but it made me think how easily voter intimidation could happen. I almost felt like scurrying back to my car under their gaze, so I can imagine how aggressive tactics might have affected some voters, especially those who are marginalized or disinfranshised.

 

Inside, I got in line and an older gentlemen immediately snapped at me. Apparently, he thought I was going to occupy his voting booth while he went to ask a question. He didn't even apologize when I pointed out the end of the line. In his denim, cowboy boots, and Stetson hat he looked very out of place among the rest of us suburban commuters. This gentlemen did get very angry when someone did occupy the booth he had temporarily vacated even though the other man was directed to the "open" booth. The cowboy did seem confused by the ballot and took almost the entire time I was there to complete his ballot. I know that one should not rush through the voting process, but it was a simple ballot with few contentious races and almost no pressing referendums. I wonder what took so long.

 

I gave the poll worker my name and they retrieved the card for me to sign. The next poll worker, sho was positively apoplectic, practically had a meltdown because the card had not been signed yet and yelled out "Someone needs to sign this!" when I was right in front of him. It was only 7:45 a.m. and I thought that he was going to have a breakdown because of the pressure.

 

As I waited for the next available booth I observed two people have difficulty with a new electronic voter booth that was being used for one of the three precincts that were combined in one polling place. I also overheard the poll workers complain that over 400 paper ballots of a certain type had not been delivered. Another poll worker complained that things were moving too fast to keep up as she called out the name of a voter whose signed card she had. They were unable to determine whether he had left or had finished voting and decided to sort it out later.

 

This all occured in one ordinary suburban polling place. Although the glitches were minor, it makes one consider the ramifications of voting irregularities on a larger scale. On the global stage, we always hear about international observers montioring elections in other countries to make sure they were free and just. You kind of expect elections to be difficult in countries with poor infrastructure, lack of education, political upheaval, and secterian violence. However, most people would agree that open elections are something that we should be able to count on in the developed world. Still, with the outcomes and irregularities of the past two elections couple with my own personal observations, one has to take pause and wonder if the outcomes are accurate. Maybe instead of worrying about punch cards, electronic ballots, and hand counting we need to just line up and toss our pebble in a bowl.

Vote Early and Often

Well, tomorrow is the day, election day. I for one intend to vote. Ever since I was old enough to vote, I have voted in ever major election. I think that one has no right to complain about the state of government and politicians if they didn't even bother to vote.

 

I don't really consider myself to be either a Republican or a Democrat, even though my voting tendencies have run towards Democratic over the last couple of years. I don't feel that any one party has all the answers or is completely correct in their positions. I try to be consistent in expressing my beliefs on the important issues. Unfortunately, that means that no one candidate is perfect and I have to choose based on the importance I place on a few key issues.

 

 Hopefully, this election will serve to make some important statements by the people of this country about the current leadership and the direction in which we are headed. If you like the way things are going, then express that position. If you are gravely concerned about choices the leadership is taking then do something to change it. Make sure your voice is heard and after the elections keep on making sure that the politicians are listening.

Scandal, Sympathy, and Sadness

I will admit that I have no great love loss for the far right, conservative, evangelical, Republican types. That disdain for those politics extends all the way up to King George…err, I mean President Bush. I will also admit that part of me is gloating because of the apparent comeuppance the Republican Party has gotten with respect to the recent sex scandals regarding Congressman Mark Foley and now the evangelist Ted Haggard. Locally, a Republican candidate for one of the suburban county boards was indicted for allegedly sexually abusing two girls.

At first glance it is really easy to rail on about the obvious hypocrisy involved when a group of people preach about morals and family values, denouncing those who have differing opinions, and then engage in or help obscure activities that are directly opposed to those beloved beliefs.

Although we don’t have all the facts in these situations and we do have the concept of innocent until proven guilty (a t least in a court of law) in this country, it is probably a little easier to criticize Mark Foley. I really do not care about his sexual orientation. It is irrelevant to me. I do however find it troubling that he would make advances to young men who have not yet reached the age of majority and over whom the congressman has some influence and power. Either he is a predator or just plain stupid. I am sure that the situation is very difficult and embarrassing for him, but his sexual orientation seems to have been a well known secret and truth be told he hasn’t broken any marital vows (but from what I understand he did have a partner and there is sure to be some violation of trust there) and no children who may be potentially embarrassed by the scandal.

It is impossible to feel any glee whatsoever about the local politician given the outcome of that situation. Shortly after the indictment, the candidate for county board died in a violent, single-car accident that appears to b e a possible suicide. I can not find anything to gloat about when the result is the the widowhood of a wife, the loss of a child's father, or anyone's self-destruction. It is just too sad, even when their possible crime was so bad.

When the story about Ted Haggard broke, I probably rushed to thoughts of hypocrisy and how the mighty have fallen, even though I was not familiar with him or his organization. I was probably also quick to assume that in all likelihood the accusations were true and his protestations hollow. However, I have a hard time buying his explanation for the meth purchase as mere curiosity (but who am I to assume how someone else's mind works). As the story progresses, it seems that there is some truth there and the remainder of it will eventually come out. However, as I step back a bit from my initial joy that this may help to tip the balance of the current political structure, I actually feel bad for this man and his family.

If the accusations are f alse, then this man and his family are enduring something very difficult. To have one’s character and integrity attacked and diminished for political gain is abhorrent. No matter how innocent a person maybe, the way that others view them is irrevocably changed. It is unavoidable.

If the accusations of his sexuality are true, then I still feel bad for him. It would have to be a very difficult and stressful life to straddle dealing with the way he is supposed to view the world and feel and the way that he actually does view the world and feel. There has to be a great deal of internal conflict. I suppose that this and many other issues could have been or could be avoided if we lived in a world where people felt safe to be who they are without fear and that we were all free to openly love regardless of whether that love is heterosexual or homosexual.

I truly hope that whatever turns out to be the truth, he and his family are able to weather the storm and that their fami ly is not shattered into a million little pieces. I also hope that everyone involved, from those involved intimately to those tangentially involved as member of the world tribe find peace.