My Achy Breaky Heart: Part I

Okay, it wasn't my heart, but I think that the reference is close enough. Everyone has events in their life which are extremely significant and leave an impact on them. Hopefully, they are joyous things like the graduation, promotions, and the birth of children. Sometimes, they are sad things like the passing of a friend or relative or other personal losses. One of my significant events just happened to me back in May.

 

It was Mother's Day, May 15th, at about 9:30 p.m. I was talking on the phone with my mother when I experienceda sudden sharp pain that felt like someone had stabbed me through the roof of my mouth and my jaw locked up. The pain actually brought me to my knees and I had to abruptly end the phone call with my mother. I hoped that it was just some sort of weird spasm and would pass momentarily. After a few minutes, I realized that this pain was not going away and was not likely to pass in the next few minutes.

 

Immediately, I started running the possibilities through my mind. Stroke? Heart attack? I didn't really know. Several years back my mother had a minor stroke due to a spike in her blood pressure. For good measure, I decided to check mine. It was elevated, but not alarmingly so and for being in some distress it was not a suprise it was elevated. I also checked my blood sugar, thinking I was having some sort of weird diabetic reaction. It was reassuringly normal 96.

 

I remembered that in the previous month's issue of Men's Health magazine there was an article with a flow chart of heart attack symptoms. I thought I should check it out. I never did find the article for two reasons. One, the words on the page made very little sense to me and two the faces of the people in the magazine were distorted. Every single person in the magazine had a face that was warped and unrecognizeable to me. I knew that something was wrong far beyond the ordinary.

 

At the time, I was going through a divorce and my ex-wife and I still lived in the same house. She took me to the emergency room. As I sat at the admissions desk, the only thing I truly remember now is having great difficulty signing my name. After that point in time, everything that occurred for several hours, is either a blur or has been relayed to me. Apparently, I repeatedly told the nurses that my hands were cold and numb. Apparently, the next several hourse involved a lot of vomitting. I guess I should feel fortunate that I don't remember most of that.

 

Several hours later, I do remember coming out of a stupor and remember throwing up the last few times just as I had been given a potassium pill because my potassium levels were low. The doctors had not yet come up with a diagnosis for me. Several tests, including a stress test were planned for later. As I began to feel better, I started to feel really stupid for overreacting and wasting a whole lot of money on medical bills.

 

At some point in time, The cardiologist visited me and had great difficulty detecting a pulse in my right arm. He ordered a CT scan. I had the scan and went back to my room to wait. The stress test was still scheduled.

 

After a while, the cardiologist came back into the room, walked over to the televsion and turned it off. I knew that was not a good sign. He informed me that I had a dissected aorta and needed immediate surgery. I didn't panic, but that is the most scared I have ever been in my life. Not only had I never had surgery before, but I was facing surgery that was necessary to save my life. My only two references for aortic dissections were the actor John Ritter and the writer of Rent, Jonathan Larson. Unfortunately, both had died from an aortic dissection. I was terrified, wondering if these were going to be my last concious moments. I didn't have any playback of my life or regrets over things I hadn't done. My biggest concerns were that I wasn't going to get a chance to talk to my children before surgery and tell them how much I loved them, just in case, and that not making it through the surgery was just not an acceptable option. It was not going to happen if I had anything to say about it.

Traffic Laws

I really don't enjoy driving that much. It seems like most people on the road are really stupid. If it weren't for the fact that I live in the suburbs, which despite gently winding roads, well manicured lawns, and tons of leafy trees are not designed for pedestrians, I would rather not drive.

 

Fortunately, I do not have a horrific commute.Still the other day on the evening commute I became frustrated with my fellow drivers. Getting onto the expressway can be triccky. The road that leads directly onto the expressway is turns into a tollbooth. Three lanes of tolls merge into one lane which becomes the onramp. Unfortunately, the on ramp also becomes an off ramp for the next exit which is only a short distance away. Everyone is merging and cars are crossing each other's path to get on and off the expressway.

 

I usually am more concerned about jockeying for my own position without taking off someone's bumper or having my own bumper removed by some distracted SUV driver yapping on their cell phone. This day I noticed that the guy in the Suburban in front of me ignored all the people merging and simply made his way across the solid striped lines, onto the expressway, and off into the far left lane. How bold! How self-important! What a jerk!

 

After muttering a few not so nice expletives to myself, I began to feel like that crewman on the Titanic who began scolding Jack and Rose for damaging White Star Line property even though the whole ship was going to end up on the bottom of the Atlantic anyway. I felt like the kid who tattles to the teacher at every minor infraction his classmates make.

 

Here I was mindlessly obeying the rules, crawling along the onramp, staring at the bumper of the Corolla in front of me, while that guy in the Surburban was happily zipping down the highway home. I felt like just another cow in the herd. Perhaps there was something to just saying to heck with this and plowing my way onto the road.

Even though I was secretly contemplating following this guy's lead, I knew that I am too much of a rules guy to do it. If everyone just did what they pleased then we would have anarchy. Rules do have their purpose. There is one school of thought with anarchy thatsays we really don't need formal rules and government because humanity would level itself off, abiding my some set of mutually agreeable unspoken set of rules.

 

As nice as that sounds, it just isn't going to happen anytime soon. Until then, I think I will just stick to the rules and visualize that driving past that guy in the Suburban who is pulled over on the side of the road with an Illinois State Trooper's car right behind him, lights spinning on the roof, and his pad out giving the guy a ticket for crossing the solid white line.

Face It

I came across this picture on the Astronomy Picture of the Day web site. It is a "realistic" view of the infamous face on Mars. A few years ago when the images first came back from Mars there was a definite resemblance to a face in some of the geological formations on the planets surfaces. The photos ran everywhere from mainstream newspapers to supermarket tabloids.

 

Of course, one of the main speculations was that the face was actually a giant monument left by some intelligent species that had since left Mars. It could have been evidence of an ancient culture on an alien world. Although I personally thought that the face was just a play of light and shadow on rugged terrain, it nevertheless fired the imagination.

 

Back here on Earth we have plenty of our own mysteries such as the pyramids in Egypt, Stonehenge, the drawings on the Nazca plains, the Bimini Road, and so own. even though I would love to know the truth about some of the mysteries, the speculation is probably far more exciting than reality. In fact, the reality is really probably pretty boring. Despite the face's debunking and the reveal of its secrets, I think that I would like to hold onto our terrestrial mysteries for a while.

 

It might be better to hang onto the hope that we are not alone in the universe, rather than finding out the possible truth that the universe is a big empty space with humanity being an insignificant little speck among the cosmic dust and debris.

Poseidon

Okay, Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper I ain't. Although I can tell a good movie from a truly dreadful one, I am probably not the most discriminating person in the world. Some Oscar caliber movies are boring as heck, can we say The English Patient? And some lightweight movies have their merits. I am not exactly defending dreck such as From Justin to Kelly, but if I can find a few redeeming qualities in something like White Chicks, then I can't say that I am exactly a cinematic connoisseur. If a movie is able to take me to another place and forget the outside world for an hour and a half to two hours, then it is a success. Generally speaking, I go to the movies for escapism. While you need to see films like Schindler's List, Ghandi, or Transamerica, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the popcorn flicks.

 

Recently, I rented Poseidon. So, it is not the best film in the world, but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it enough to buy the DVD. Yes, there are plot holes so big that you could sail and ocean liner through, but who cares? There is a little thing called suspension of disbelief. There are flaws in the movie. A good actor like Andre Braugher isn't given much to do other than tell people to remain calm. Richard Dreyfuss' character gets to utter inane opinions about the seaworthiness of an upside down ship based on his career as an architect. Yes, he is an architect, but not a naval one and as someone who works in the field I can tell you that most of us wouldn't have a clue about ship architecture. Although, pretty much any moron can tell you that a ship is not designed to float upside down. Fergie gets to stretch her acting chops by playing, oh my gosh a singer! Actually, I didn't know that Fergie could actually sing that well. I think that being in The Black Eyed Peas doesn't let her voice shine in the way it should.

 

So despite convenient plot devices and some implausible situations, I liked the film. I think I will go watch the original Poseidon Adventure and through Irwin Allen's other disaster flick The Towering Inferno while I am at it. Maybe I will throw in that other 70's disaster flick Earthquake while I am at it and listen to Sylvester Stallone mumble his way through Daylight.

The Planetarium

Last week, I was at a work related conference in downtown Chicago for most of the week. One afternoon, we were free from learning sessions and presentations. Many of my coworkers spent the afternoon at Goose Island, shopping on the Magnificent Mile, or various other activities. I took the opportunity to do something that I haven't done for a long time.

 

I took a walk from the Chicago Hilton and Towers where we were staying to the Adler Planetarium. As a child I always loved going to the planetarium. There was something special about sitting in the under the dome of the sky theater watching a presentation unfold above. It always had a way of transporting me somewhere else.

 

For a while, I was able to relive that little bit of magic from my childhood. It still felt fresh and exciting to pretend that I was actually under a pitch black sky looking at the stars.

 

They have done a lot of remodeling since I was last at the planetarium. When I was a child, the main entrance was this ugly, blocky structure in front of the building. You had to go down the stairs, under the driveway, and back up the stairs to get inside. It always bugged me that you could never walk right in the front doors. It seemed to detract from the appreciation of both the building and excitment of the event. This has been remedied in the remodel. It was a pleasure to climb those stairs, open the wood doors with panes of beveled glass, and voyage to the stars.

Case For Evolution

I have never had a problem with evolution. Although, it is an unproveable theory at the moment, it seems reasonable to me. I don't have a problem accepting it and have never had a problem reconciling it with any notion of a creator good. I don't believe the biblical account of creation to be literal.

 

If you take a look at a fish, frog, and lizard it doesn't take too much of a leap to fill in the gaps of progression. From a lizard it doesn't take much of an imagination to go to dinosaurs and so on.

 

There was a news story today about a veritable cornucopia of flora and fauna off the shores of Papua New Guinea. Among the newly discovered species is a shark that walks along the ocean floor on its fins. While, I am not versed on all the fundamentalist objections to evolution (I find them to be tiresome) I do know that one point in their case against evolution is the lack of a record of transitional species. Nevermind that fossils are really rare enough as is, but here is a living, breathing example of an animal showing some transitional behaviors.

 

I for one will continue to put my money on evolution. Pondering how we got from a single cell organism to the species we are now can really blow the mind. That sort of advancement and the incomprehensible time frame does not detract from any glory due to its creator.

Birds on a Wire

I was driving home today after participating in a focus group. As I was stopped at a traffic light, I looked over at the side of the road at a flock of birds sitting on some electrical wires. Although I didn't take this picture, it did look somewhat similar to this.

 

I began to wonder why most of the birds stayed in close proximity with a few smaller groups scattered along the lines. What was really more curious is the bird that is sitting by himself, perhaps even on a different line altogether.

 

Is this bird being ostracized by the other birds? Is he suffering from avian fear of crowds? Does he smell bad and is in need of a bird bath? Is he just a socially inept bird nerd?  Or maybe he is just an individual deciding that he doesn't have to be just another member of the flock.

The Pope is a Dope

Is it any surprise that the Catholic Church finds itself in the midst of another controversy? This time it is one with another religion.

 

What on Earth possessed the Pope to quote some obscure medieval text to make a point? Why also did he feel the need to make the comment in the first place? The church could be taking on a whole bumch of current ministerial issues rahter than talk about old texts. The are more topical and relevant concerns of the people Surely has enough public relations problems with which to deal without taking on any new ones.

 

I suspect that many of the gaffes the church makes have less to do with some sort of idea of Christian superiority or to really condemn other religions. I think that it has a lot to do with the fact that those in charge are uber-academicians who are really quite clueless about life outside of the walls of some library or theological storehouse.

 

No matter how charismatic the leaders may seem, after all that had to have some charisma in order to get to where they are, they are still basically socially inept nerds.

My Very Eager Mother Just Scorched Uncle Ned's?

I was thinking that commenting on the fairly recent decision of the IAU's decision to demote Pluto was a little past it's time. But, since today the drawf planet "Xena" was official named Eris, who is the Greek goddess of discord. Eris certainly brought plenty of discord with her with respect to our notions of what constituted a planet.

 

I am no astronmer. I don't really even know enough about the subject to qualify myself as an amateur astronomer. But, I have always had an affection for the subject. I took it as an elective in college my first semester and it remained my favorite class. Still, I have to say that I was disappointed that Pluton was demoted to a dwarf planet. I was rooting for it to stay a planet and for Ceres, Charon, and Eris to join the planetary family.

 

From what I understand, one of the big reasons for going with the current classification system is the discovery of all those trans-Neptunian objects like Eris. I heard the argument that classifying things like Pluto and Eris as planets would lead to our solar system possibly having thousands of planets. Well, if that is the case, so be it.

 

Our knowledge of the galaxy is so limited. We may find that the typical solar system might have thousands of planets. Maybe that is normal. I don't like the classification that was used, just because something might exist. Nothing has to be set in stone. Science is the best guess based on our level of knowledge at the time. It is constantly expanding and growing, so there shouldn't be a fear of reexamining it in the future.

 

Besides that, it bugs me that Mom no longer knows what she did to Uncle Ned's pants.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Should we hold the person who let the cat out of the bag responsible for its ultimate death from curiosity? Apparently, it doesn't pay to be the early bird either. While it may have gotten the worm, it ended up in somebody's hand while its two compadres stayed in the bush. Unfortunately, those two didn't fair so well either because they were killed by some idiot in a glass house throwing moss covered stones at them. They were probably the same moron who couldn't keep their cat locked up in the first place. That moron was probably the screwy old lady who thought that swallowing a fly with a spider chaser was a good idea. She was probably the one trying to catch birds to help with her zoological indigestion.  I am assuming that she let the cat out of the bag to swallow it after the avian hors d'oeuvre didn't work. So we end up with a bunch of dead animals (nine by my count if we in clude the fly, spider, three birds, cat, dog, goat, and horse) and a whole lot of broken glass. Since she ended up dead also, I guess that the divine law of karma holds true.

Well, I've Never!

When I talk to my cowrkers about things, I find that I have often piped in "I've never..." and finish the sentence with something like been to Europe, ridden on a motorcycle, gone bungee jumping, gone clubbing, driven a Porsche, etc. Sometimes, this bothers me and sometimes it doesn't.

 

Personally, I don't see the appeal of jumping off of a bridge while hanging onto a rubber band or the appeal of jumping out of a perfectly good airpline with a bedsheet strapped to my back. I honestly feel that my life will be complete if I never do these things.

 

I have never made a to-do list of things that I want to accomplish before I do. I don't know if people really do that. The idea of putting a value on my life based on some check list of activities bothers me. I really don't want the success of my life to be based on a series of trivial accomplishments.

 

Still, I don't want to look back on my life and feel like I have missed out. I would like to travel to exotic places, drive an expensive car at least for a day, or even eat Thai food. I just don't want this things to be defining factors of my life.

 

Someday, when I do these things I think that I will enjoy them even more because I know that whether or not I have done them, my life will still be complete.

 

 

The Moon

I just thought that this was an interesting picture of the moon. You can view many beautiful images of our universe through the Astronomy Picture of the Day link.

Destruction

What is it about destruction that we humans seem to enjoy so much? The reason, I ask this is because of a game I have been playing over the weekend called Tornado Jockey.

 

In the game, you control a tornado rampaging through several different scenarios farm country, a small town, the suburbs, an airport, an industrial park, and a downtown. The purpose of the game is to destroy as much as possible. I have to admit that it was fun smashing buildings, blowing up propane tanks, and flinging debris around.

 

Obviously a lot of people enjoy this type of game or they wouldn't have made it. I can't be the only one. But, it seems that our love of destruction goes past video games. Who didn't get a charge seeing a wall of water destroy New York City in the Day After Tomorrow, seeing Los Angeles getting shook to pieces in Earthquake, or any number of cities blown up by aliens in Independence Day?

 

Fortunately, these are all constructs of the movie industry or computer programmers. We log off the computer or walk out of the theater feeling a little thrill and maybe a discharge of some aggression. It was some harmless fun.

 

But in real life it isn't so fun and maybe it is a little more ominous that the television crews lovingly linger over scenes of destruction and we all drink it in from our couches while watching CNN. In reality, a wall of water destroying Banda Aceh, the aftermath of a fault slippage in Kobe, Japan, or balls of flame erupting from high rise buildings in New York City isn't as harmless.

Six Flags Great America

Yesterday, my company sponsored a family event at Six Flags Great America. My kids and I had a great time wandering the park for close to six hours. While, we couldn't ride all the rides because my youngest was not tall enough, we still had lots of fun. Well, that isn't entirely true. I had surgery to repair my aorta in May, so I don't feel comfortable going on on the high thrill rides...yet.

It was the first times that my son and daughter have ever been to the park and I haven't been there in sixteen years. I think that it is impressive that despite having been to Disney World twice, the kids were still impressed with the park and had a great time. In the future, maybe I don't have to give the mouse all my money and I can substitute a tank of gas for three airline tickets.

Why Lost in the Delta Quadrant?

Excuse me for a moment. My geekiness is showing and I need to cover it up. Yes, I like Star Trek and that is part of the reason why I chose this title for my blog. I thought about it for a bit before I finally settled on it. I tried to come up with something that was going to be witty and insightful and describe me in the most unique terms. Unfortunately, nothing fantastic came to mind. In fact, most of the ideas were downright stupid. I just kept coming back to Lost in the Delta Quadrant.

If you happen to be a fan of Star Trek, particularly Star Trek: Voyager then you will most likely understand the reference. If not, let me take a moment to explain. In Star Trek: Voyager, the titular starship is transported 70,000 light years across the galacxy by an entity known as the Caretaker. Without going into great plot detail, Voyager's captain, Kathryn Janeway, is forced to destroy the technology that brought them to the Delta Quadrant in order to protect a defenseless alien culture from a much more aggressive one. Thus, the ship and her crew is stranded. Even at top speeds it will take them more than 75 years to get home.

I selected Lost in the Delta Quadrant because I felt that to some degree the show is a good metaphor for life. We are all lost in a part of space that is unknown and unchartered trying to reach a destination called home. On the show, that destination is Earth, but for each of us it is a unique goal. It could be enlightenment, heaven, or some other pinnacle of success. So that is why I chose that as the title of my blog.

The Technological Troglodyte

Unlike many of my peers, I do not consider myself to be a technologically savvy person. I didn't start to use e-mail until my first job out of college. I don't own a Blackberry. I've never Tivo'd anything. My cell phone does not also take pictures and I don't walk around looking like Star Trek's Uhura with some device plugged into my ear talking to myself. It wasn't until a little over a month ago that I even owned an iPod.

So, it is with some surprise that I find myself launched into the world of blogging. I have one of my coworkers to thank for that. Having his own blog, he showed me how easy it was to do. So with a few click of my mouse and a couple of quick keystrokes, I have my own blog, not that anyone is really going to check out the blog of some thirtysomething guy in Illinois. But, who knows? With the pretense of boldness that the internet can give, I am here comment on anything and everything. I will be adding my voice to the chorus of others who believe that they have something to share.